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Publishers and muggers

I came across this and couldn’t resist the headline, “How to cope when you’re in a dying industry,” because I’m always being told (and thinking fretfully) that I am in a dying industry. Glad to say that this made me smile nonetheless. I’m trying to come up with the equivalent of selling prescription meds on the street, naturally.

…what do you do when a man with a gun asks for all of your money, but you have none? Do you go to the ATM? Do you run away screaming? Do you try some self-defense moves you saw on TV?

I try to think of a solution for getting this man with a gun what he wants. He clearly needs the money or he wouldn’t be mugging us.

I offer him my iPhone, but the screen is cracked. No go. I show him my video camera, suggesting that maybe he could pawn it. He passes on that too.

As I rack my brain to find something of value in my car, it becomes clear to me that this is a business problem. The only way this guy can earn money is by mugging people, except no one in the world carries cash anymore.

He is working in a dying industry.

I have prescriptions in my purse. This guy could make a killing with a bottle of Adderall and a few Xanax. I hand him the bottles.

He doesn’t want them.

I realize this is a new idea for him, so I explain that he could sell these pills for at least $20 each, which means these two bottles are worth a ton of money. I assume if he can mug someone at gun point, he can probably find someone on the street to buy pills.

He doesn’t like that plan, and runs off with my debit card and its 4-digit pin instead. I shut the card off within twenty minutes, with just a phone call using the iPhone he wouldn’t take.

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